Worry Not While in Want [01.31.08]

Even though all that surrounds her is changing into that of promise, she feels hunger within her. When will this hunger get fed? With what food? From where?

She struggles to continue to walk forward without question, without doubt--but she's hungry and in want.

For a time she walks on with confidence, then a pang of hunger strikes, and she falls prey to worry. Worry is the wolf that haunts the moonless nights along the path she takes.

In the light of the moon, she sees the wolf. She sees her doubt, her fear, the worry she has let go untamed.

As the night breeze once again kisses her cheeks she closes her eyes and turns her face toward the moon--"Lord," she prays "help me worry not while in want."

No Wind Blew [01.15.08]

Sitting overlooking the lake before her, she senses something wrong...something wrong that is more than right. She cannot figure out what it is when the realization first hits her. The sky is so clear. Life is happening all around her in a fury of activity--nothing is still, but everything is calm.

Here she is, in the midst of what was once a storm, but now just a burst of forward motion, and no wind blew.

Could this really be ok? Or is something wrong? This peace is beyond her, above her, past anything of her comprehension. She cannot understand it, yet it IS all the same.

This time, she finds out, is when God can best speak to us. When our soul is calm and settled and unfretted. So she listens as no wind blows.

Calm [01.14.08]

Her pace not hurried, her breath not labored, though her climb upward. She pauses a moment on a rocky outcropping overlooking the beauty that surrounds. The moon is shining again, not much light, but enough to guide her now. The glow offers hints of the beauty that lies beyond. A gentle breeze blows across her face; her hair caught up a moment upon the wind, dances.

Though she sees no one, she knows she is not here alone, and she is not afraid. This moment proves that you can both be excited and calm.

In the end, things will work out. She can trust the Lord. Today, His gifts many, but that which she feels presently is calm.

She Sings in Gratitude [01.13.08]

Walking along the waters edge she watches the moonlight dance across the velvet surface. She is yet in search of a dream that flies just beyond her now, but even in her want, she sees just how blessed she is.

It may not come today or tomorrow, but she sings in gratitude. She is loved and she is not alone, the Lord walks with her, carrying her when she's weak.

She can see that now, even though it's always been something she's known.

The night's silence is broken softly, the words fall out in a chorus of joyful noise.

I thank you Father,
I thank you Lord,
For all you've given,
and all you've done.

Even in want and in need,
when the world's got me on my knees,
I thank you Father,
I thank you Lord,
For all the blessings
with which you've showered me.

When confusion clouds my view,
When I struggle just to know what to do,
I thank you Father,
I thank you Lord,
Because I can always turn to you.

In gratitude and Faith I pray,
Bless me with your spirit,
Guide me with your Love,
Let me be a blessing,
Until your work is done.

And I thank you Father,
I thank you Lord,
I offer you this
My Gift of gratitude...

Sometimes Peace comes in Pieces

I lay back on my bed staring up at my ceiling, quietly thanking God for all He has blessed me with. There are people, friends and family who make life full. There are experiences…and then…then there is peace.

I have found myself conflicted within for awhile now…if it isn’t this, it’s that…and today, though my body feels weak and exhausted, and I fear I am getting sick…today I was given one more piece of peace.

God keeps speaking to me, through people and events. He keeps telling me that He’s watching out for me, that He really does love me. When I beg to move faster He asks rather than tells me, why I feel the necessity to rush things for today, when He is busy paving the way for me to find joy and happiness forever.

I am now ready to say I’m willing to wait. Before, I waited because I had no choice, but now I can honestly say to the Lord, I am ready should this be my time, but I am also willing to wait.

He knows best…and sometimes, when conflicted, instead of calming the storm all together at once, peace comes in pieces. And that’s alright.

Refreshing Breeze and Fairytale Dreams

A smile creeps across her face, at first she tries to hide it, but decides that is a silly waste of time. Why try to hide joy? She is bubbling over with glee that makes her act childlike—but that’s alright, her heart is full of hope and she’s dreaming again—dreaming grand dreams.

Her mind paints a fairytale that she jumps into. The air smells sweet and spicy, filled with the scent of a million flowers. The sky more blue than she’s ever seen, and the grass…the grass is so green and lush that she cannot help but fall back into it and lay staring into the sky. And she dreams...fairytale dreams...and is kissed by a refreshing breeze...

The Surrender [01.10.08]

The Surrender:

Holding on to a wisp of wind, she fought to keep her balance on this uneven land. Of course she knew where she was going…right? No, she couldn’t even convince herself of it. The truth is that she cannot even see five feet in front of her. A dense fog settled over the already darkened horizon.

Yet here she is, fighting; She’s fighting the air, the breeze, and all that is unseen. She’s fighting her own confusion, and struggling to be free of the weakness of her own will.

She dreams and lets them go, for the path from here to where she must go is obscured in darkness.

In all that is so hard to see, one thing she knows is well seen is her weakness. She is flawed, and though she fights like a warrior, she is weak.

The water moves in around her, threatening to drown her. Her arms reach up to hands she knows are waiting.

Lord, take me! I surrender my will into your hands, save me Lord!


by: RET

The Path She Takes [Creative Writing 2007]

The hot southern winds whipped her full white skirt back around her. There she stood overlooking what had once been so beautiful--desert lands. The beauty has long since faded, yet she stands here still. It is what it is. A desert--inhospitable, vast, dry, hot, and lonely. She's tired of chasing mirages and ending up nowhere and yet tired all the same...She looks to the horizon for something, yet there is nothing. Some days she even prays for mirages, because at least they are something to rest her eyes upon.

******
A hot desert wind blows around her, sand an abrasive reminder of her location. She stares off in the distances for something, a sign that the desert will not consume her. Faintly on the horizon there is the suggestion of an oasis, a respite on her long journey. Suddenly it is right before her, not a moment for her to think about what it might mean.
No, it isn't a clear answer, there is no sign to welcome her saying she has found her destination, but here she is. It is so refreshing to her sun baked soul, her thirst satisfied. The more she breathes the moist air of this oasis, the more she feels at home. It is good, and she is happy here.
******
She walks through the oasis, eyes open wide and her heart wider, ready for adventure, for joy to re-enter her life. Caught up in the newness that surrounds her she forgets for a moment how close the other side is--if she should but lift her eyes toward the sky she will see the edge on the horizon. She knows it will not take very long to reach the other side, if the path continues to carry her directly forward. She is saddened at the prospect of leaving this land so soon. She has found joy here, laughter, and refreshment, and though the edge is so very close to the horizon, she holds on to hope, because that's all she's ever done-- and who she really is. She knows that only God knows where the path will lead her, and how quickly she will arrive. And even if the desert should surround again, she knows His plans are for her best life, and she will endure the desert again if that is where He should lead her.
******
Beneath her feet she feels the lushness leave the ground, and the sharp edges of rocks begin to cut her feet. The desert or a fertile paradise? That which lays ahead is a mystery that haunts her mind. Even if it is the desert, the sands shall be softer than where she presently treads. She may even consider trading thorns and rocky ledges for sand burns.
The air is stagnant, heavy, crushing. Her lungs heave with effort to provide her air. No wind blows--her oasis has awaken pain. Her path has now taken her to a rocky ledge. Far off in the distance she can see desert to one side, paradise the other, but what is present surrounding is nothing but fog and confusion. Nothing sheds light upon the path. It is night. She stumbles on in spite, awaiting morning--knowing she is never truly alone.
******
Looking to her left she sees the earth give way to a vast openness, the rocks crumble and fall into the ocean. Should she continue walking on this shaky ground? The fall would be huge, but at least if she jumped she'd maintain some control. Closing her eyes she approaches the edge, unsure of what she will do next.
Suddenly she's falling, falling...along side her she sees the rocky cliffs rushing up as she plummets downward. All she can hope is to hit the water and not the rocky crags below. She can only expect that surviving this fall will mean enduring the crashing and thrashing of the tide as it meets the land.
******
She lays there for a time, while time itself fades away. Unsure of what life will bring her, she's afraid to move. The fall had hurt her, but not in the way she had expected...she's so far from the land she had become so familiar with. Now she fears her company, because she must be her own company--but there is something greater, something overarching...an emotion she can not quite describe. After letting her wounds heal she lifts herself up and finds a place to sit and reflect. Closing her eyes she looks passed the losses, and tries to put an image to the feeling within her. She imagines wings unfolding within her heart. They are graceful and strong.

She is graceful and strong, in her own right. The ocean winds blow around her, and the air smells of tomorrow. Tomorrow smells like promise. Promise smells like hope. And hope is what she was always good at.

She stands with the ocean breeze flirting with the hem of her skirt and playing with wisps of her hair. This air doesn't burn her lungs. She can breathe uninhibited.

So she stands ready, waiting on the Lord.

******

The Lord begins to call, softly, like the whispers of a calm ocean within the Harbor, rising. Almost inaudible, and yet you can feel it somewhere deep within. His voice not loud, the message unclear, but she knows without a shadow of a doubt that He is speaking to her.

She feels that the Lord is trying to give her a gift, her heart is readying itself. She's been praying to be ready to accept God's gift, to be good enough—with God's grace—to be the recipient of such blessings as God has to give.

Within her chest her heart burns with restlessness, she sense it is God calling her to move. God wants her to start walking. She has walked out of the oasis that once protected her from the elements of the desert. Again dry sand surrounds her, but she is not thirsty—for there is a spring within her.
She feels like tomorrow's promise is so close it may come today. Yes, she feel's God trying to give her path direction. She studies the Bible and prays, hoping to be ready when He calls.

She prays for strength to answer the call.

by: RET