A New Season [12.12.08]

Where has she gone? There. Here she is.

The weather has changed, and so has life. She travels down a path through a valley cold. This once was home, but now it is void of reward. She seeks her promise land. The future promised her.

Her greatest fear has to do with the setting and rising of the sun. The beginning and end of each new day. Time is passing her by.

Exhausted She Finds Rest [08.30.08]

Laying in the grass she looks up into the sky trying to see beyond her own limited view. Inactivity would not leave her this tired, she must be making progress. In fact she is very busy, life is taking her a million different directions--many of which she would not choose for herself. The breeze playfully dances through the grass freeing the little ballerina seeds of a dandelion and she closes her eyes seeking what she really needs. The calming, restful love of her Father in heaven.

To feel truly loved she needs queit, reflective, quality time with God and those in her life, and life is making that time so hard to find.

She closes her eyes and rests in the love of God.

Nothing but God's Will

Her soul feels waterlogged. Days and months of raining. So numb to it she's grown, she barely feels a drop. Her hair hangs limp, clinging to her face and neck. The horizon is not so dark today as it has been, and the rain does not feel so oppressive--yet it is still rain. A little is loved, a lot is loathed by most. Yet she sits un-judging of her situation. She knows it's the building block for her blessed tomorrow, no matter how it looks today. So let it rain so long as I don't drown. For the Lord will bless me for I am His own.

---

"In the center of the circle
of the will of God I stand:
There can come no second causes,
All must come from His dear hand.
All is well! for it's my Father
Who my life has planned.

Shall I pass through waves of sorrow?
Then I know it will be best;
Though I cannot tell the reason,
I can trust, and so am blest.
God is love, and God is faithful.
So in perfect Peace I rest.

With the shade and with the sunshine,
With the joy and with the pain,
Lord I trust you! both are needed,
Each Your wayward child to train,
Earthly loss, if we will know it,
Often means our heavely gain.
I. G. W."

--And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him. Romans 8:28 --

Rain Showers and Sun [07.19.08]

We can depend on God to fulfill his promise, even when all the roads leading to it are closed. --Matthew Henry

---

Eyes closed she turns her face heavenward. The rain pours down on her with no sign that it will be letting up, but yet the sun shines dancing between the clouds.

---

My words...will come true at their proper time Luke 1:20
What the Lord has said...will be accomplished. Luke 1:45

The Lord is sure to accomplish those things
a loving heart has waited long to see;
Those words be fulfilled to which she clings,
Because her God has promised faithfully;
And, knowing him, she ne'er can doubt His word;
He speaks and it is done. The mighty Lord!

The Lord is sure to accomplish those things,
O burdened heart, rest ever in His care;
In quietness beneath His shadowing wings
Await the answer to your longing prayer.
When you have "cast your cares," the heart then sings,
The Lord is sure to accomplish those things.

The Lord is sure to accomplish those things
O tired heart, believe and wait and pray;
Peacefully, the evening chime still rings,
Though cloud and rain and storm have filled the day.
Faith pierces through the mist of doubt that bars
The coming night sometimes, and finds the stars.

The Lord is sure to accomplish those things,
O trusting heart, the Lord to you has told;
Let Faith and Hope arise, and lift their wings,
to soar toward the sunrise clouds of gold;
the doorways of the rosy dawn swing wide,
Revealing joys the darkness of night did hide.

--Bessie Porter

Forward On [05.22.08]

Morning comes once again, and she realizes that she cannot wait for clarity, she cannot wait for the confusion to fade...she must carry on, ever forward and trust the Lord to lead.

Springs of Cold Water [05.21.08]

The water that runs through the stream by the way is so cold that it brings pain as she washes the mud off her feet. She is now out of the quicksand, at least this patch of land is solid, but the cold waters hurt as they wash away the quicksand. As time passes she grows numb to the cold water.

Sitting by the water now, she contemplates what may come next...

It was Quicksand [05.18.08]

The leap led to a fall that led to quicksand.

Her forward journey seems doomed to be halted for a time, until the grips of confusion let go of her feet.

Leap [05.15.08]

It's still dark and before her feet she feels a divide in the earth. It's depth and breadth unknown to her, she surrenders her path to God's and leaps in faith. If she should fall, she must trust there are hands there to catch her and help her up. If it is desert on the other side...if it is storm, if it is sun and paradise, she must just trust the Lord.

It is too late to turn back now.

She leaps.

Come Rain or Come Shine [05.14.08]

She grabs hold of the wind, tugging at that which cannot be held, cannot be pulled, that which is not hers. She has been inactive for a long time, waiting for God to show her that her plans are actually His as well.

She realizes she was telling God what His plans for her could or couldn't be, but saying with resolved "I will not..."

God, in his great patience and wisdom, smiling down on her as she looks off into the darkened distant horizon, knew that the plans she was building for her life were not those that would lead her to the best place for her.

Blindness was a cure, not a disease. It kept her from moving forward with plans of my own making--or rather those plans she felt were the best for her--regardless of how she felt led.

Now there is a rope around her, gently tugging her forward.

She isn't being called to wait, no...all along she was just learning to hear the Lord and discern His voice.

He has called her to act. She must let go of hope in faith. She must now transition from learning to living. There is definately a risk in letting go of her human hopes in order to achieve the dreams God has dreamed for her life. She must trust Him with everything.

Even if her hopes are not actuated. Even if she fails, if she falls, if she is rejected. She must follow Him now, for He calls, and she hears. She cannot deny it.

So as the breeze picks up, she lets go of her hopes.

Knowing that His will is always what is best for her.

Come rain or come shine.

Sun and Gray [05.02.08]

Barely a breeze blows. The robins continue their singing, refreshed from the spring shower. The daffodils raise up their sunny faces thanking the heavens for the fallen rain. She walks passed them, her eyes resting on nothing.

She has decisions to make but she still feels she is lacking any guidance. She doesn't want to make these decision alone. Those who she would respect their opinion stay silent--perhaps out of wisdom, knowing better what she needs than she herself. Those who are ready to give advice throw it out carelessly, and it doesn't fit so she rejects it.


She prays the words of David in the psalms--

Show me the path where I should walk, O Lord;
Point out the right road for me to follow.
Lead me by your truth and teach me,
for you are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in you.[25:4-5]

O Lord, you are my rock of safety.
Please help me; don't refuse to answer me.
For if you are silent,
I might as well give up and die.[28:1]

My heart has heard you say, "come and talk with me"
And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming."[27:8]

Looking around her she sees the sun shining down while gray clouds still surround. What does it mean for her?

Abundance of Life [04.26.08]

photo by Rebecca Turk

It's spring, and promise breaks through like the tulips through sun warmed earth. Yet, she walks on with no clarity. Where is God leading her? Is he calling and she doesn't hear Him? She's listening as best as she knows how and praying for the ablity to hear His call.

Even with uncertainty she has joy. She is slowly learning to trust. Slowly learning to let God lead her forward all the while being blindfolded. Her purpose, though undefined to her, exists--and it is a purpose that only she can fulfill--a place God has called her specifically, before she was born.

Young tender grass tickles her barefeet as she walks along in the lush abundance of life that grows according to the Lord's commands.

Wings [04.17.08]

Sometimes when her soul feels light enough to fly, she realizes her wings are not for her own purposes--but are to wrap, with care and love, around those whose spirits' are weak.

And Sometimes In the Light of the Moon She Dances [04.02.08]

The full moon hangs large above the Horizon. Its amber light cast with the same playfullness as the glow of fireflies flashing. She smiles and giggles as she catches a firefly. She's joyful.

Sometimes, when no one is looking, in the light of the moon, she dances.

She Hears the Sound of Pain [04.01.08]

Beside her she hears the whisperings of another, the words sound sad and discouraged tinged by anxiety. "I can't..." "I can't..." "I won't..." sad words are these that she hears. Turning to face the voice, she sees the tears building up in the other's eyes. Soon they spill over, and she goes to offer comfort...She'll help if she can. She's willing to try, at least.

The day goes on and every little sound, the shuffling of leaves, the creaking of a door...it all sounds like pain to her ears. Her compassion and empathy awaken.

The Mightiest of Man's Walls Have Weakness Within

The sad song of the loon carries across the fog ridden shore, there is peace, but it doesn't feel like it's her's anymore.
The waves lap up quietly upon the sand, but yet their motion too strong against her for her to stand. Exhaustion is catching up with her on her way, no longer can she pretend to never move or sway. For even the mightiest of mans walls have weakness within, hers is her human propensity to sin. Also she sees that often she takes her eyes from him who gives her all there is and the very life she lives. So, at the closing of this day she finds herself surrounded with the waves but turns her eyes, not a moment to soon, back from what surrounds to her father and prays;

"I surrender my will to you, Lord. Take me as I am. Lord without you, no matter what I do--I will never be able to stand. I see you, I love you, yet often I forget--you are my author, my sustainer, and should I just always remember to walk in your way--I will never once Lord, have a regret. Now Father, I shall cry to wash away the regret within--Lord, please forgive me of my doubting, my sin! Amen."

For one Wishes it to Rain when the Sun Shines [03.24.06]

While yet the warmth of the sun dances upon her, she feels the rain begin to fall. It isn't a warm spring rain--no it is icy and stings. The cold burns her eyes...she feels the need to cry.

She feels the working of the one who wishes it to rain when the sun shines--trying to destroy the hope and assurance she had just gained...but she refuses to give in; as the rope gets pulled downward, she digs her heels into the ground and pulls uphill, praying all along for the strength of the Lord to be with her.

She will not give up her faith, she will not doubt the Lord. He promised to give us wisdom should we ask--and to do so gladly.

The struggle continues but she continues to pray--her heart aches with tenison--but she feels herself gaining strength.

"Oh restless doubting spirit, silence! Be still! Devil flee from this land for in the land I dwell the Lord is ruler, you have no place here! Be Gone!"

She boldly cries...and as the words spill from her lips the rain begins to stop, and the sun continues it's shining--and her heart is strengthened.

One more battle, one more step forward. One more tool she finds in her hand for whatever she may be called to do.

Claiming Promises [03.24.08]

Go boldy, praying specifically, claiming the promises of God.

---

"God places Himself within our reach through His promises, and when we can actually say to Him, "you have said," He cannot say no. God must do as He has said....while in prayer be sure to stand firmly on a promise of God....Jesus desires that we would be very specific in our requests, asking for somethign definite....Make your requests earnestly and specifically, if you desire definite answers....Take Christ's Word--His promises--and Christ's sacrifice--His blood--with you to the throne of grace through prayer, and not one of heaven's blessings can be denied you."
From: Streams in the Desert
March 24

---

Hearing this her soul is stirred to a point of great hope! She had merely been praying too timidly--afraid to ask for anything definite...and though she knew that God kept His promises, somehow she hadn't thought to claim them!

Arising from her slumber early, she grabbed a pen and her journal along with her Bible and went to work claiming the promises of God...

"Dear Lord,

Glorious is your Holy Name!....I come before you to claim what you told me would be so.
You have said if I need wisdom, if I want to know what you want me to do, ask you and you will GLADLY tell me. You will not resent me asking. (James 1:5)....You promise that all things will work together for the good of those who love you and are called according to your purpose (Romans 8:28). You also promise that you already know the plans you have for me and that they are to prosper me and not to bring harm--that they will give me a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).......Amen."

Her heart is filled with hope, filled with assurance. God will gladly give the wisdom she seeks and the direction she needs.

Then through the clouds that surround the sun breaks through casting warm light upon her face, smiling she looks heavenward and mouths a silent "thank you"--her requests have been heard and the Lord is working on her behalf at this very moment, even if she cannot see it yet.

(written for yesterday March 24)

Learning to Welcome the Wait [03.22.08]

Laying still on the cool ground she drifts into a sleep that floats lightly upon her, coming and going. When awakened she prays. She must learn to welcome the wait, because it appears waiting is what she is being called to do--at least for this time.

Fog settles over her mind, she's too tired to continue to pray; but she has prayed, asking for the Spirit to guide her. That if she must stay and wait that she grow able to rejoice in the wait--for she knows she's blessed.

She awakens fully and goes to the stream in the desert to quench her thirst.

God planned it so that the words echoing up from the stream be just those that she needs to hear at this time.

"...when God delays, He is not inactive. This is when he prepares his instruments and matures our strength....God is never in a hurry. He spends years preparing those He plans to greatly use, and never thinks of the days of preparation as being too long or boring....the most difficult ingredient of suffering is often time....'He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver' (Mal. 3:3)....Today we may be unable to see the final outcome of the beautiful plan that God has hidden "in the shadow of his hand" (Isa. 49:2)...we can calmly await the time when, in heavely delight, we will say "all things [have] work[ed] together for good (Rom. 8:28)....There is a reason behind every lesson, and when we are ready, our deliverance will definately come. Then we will know we could never have served our place of higher service without having been taughtthe very things we learned during our ordeal....

Don't steal tomorrow from God's hands. Give him time to speak to you and reveal His will. He is never late--learn to wait."

From: Streams in the Desert March 22

She rolls the thoughts around in her head, though they speak of waiting they bring a joy with them, and when she looks out upon the land...she thinks she may just see the morning's promise upon the horizon.

.:A Clean Heart:.

Just a passing thought

Imagine with me. Someone you care about is coming to visit, but when you look around you see that you have let the space around you become cluttered and dirty. You admire this person greatly and respect them--do you leave the space a mess? Or do you show them how much you care about them and want them to be comfortable in your place, so you are motivated to clean up the clutter?

You clean up the clutter.

Why then are we so unwilling to clean up the clutter in our hearts to prepare it for our loving savior?

And even beyond that, we are not left alone to deal with the "mess" in our hearts, Our Honored Guest, our Lord will clean our heart for us, given that we are willing to let the cleaning take place.

Psalm 51
10Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

11Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

12Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

The Path IS Beneath Her Feet [03.21.08]

God desires for us to believe His Word without other evidence, and then He is ready to do for us "according to [our] faith." --Streams in the Desert 03.21

According to your faith will it be done to you. (Matthew 9:29)

The confusion had settled upon her and pinned her to her place. She couldn't move, nor did want to seek out what she didn't know in the dark. She decided to wait for the coming light, but for the time being to pray what she holds on her heart.

She prays, not with doubt, but with honest questioning--"Lord, how long will you test my faith until I see with clarity?" She is not doubting that the Lord is leading, and she isn't considering giving up. Her faith is not weakening, it is in fact growing--but she fears that with the lack of clarity she may walk down a path that is her own, and not the Lord's--or she may not even move.

But through prayer she sees a glimmer of light on the horizion, a bit of truth revealed. God would not ignore her sincere pleading to be given guidance as to what is HIS will for her life. So, looking down at the path beneath her feet, she realizes that this IS His path for her--that When God promises to send us a guide, He will give us that guide.

So even though darkness surrounds, and she waits yet for clarity, she knows the path is beneath her feet--and she can breathe, relax and enjoy the faint glow of light provided her.

They Spin Her Around and Tell Her To Walk [03.20.08]

The weight of the decisions yet to be made begin to take their toll. Before it wasn't so hard to keep her head held high, but now She is growing tired.

Today, along the path, a group of friends approached her. Their ears were not open, but they came with mouths ready to speak, and minds too slow to think before the words came. Each had their own idea, each telling her that her path is the wrong path. They made her head spin, and then they said GO FORWARD; DO NOT WAIT A MOMENT!

She cannot walk, her mind is too clouded, and she is too dizzy. These directions that have been offered her, though given with good intentions, only make her feel more lost and far more tired.

The night is heavy, so she seeks out rest and prays for clarity.

Advice of Two Contrary Twins [03.17.08]

Looking into the western sky she catches a glimpse of the last lingering light of day. Darkness finds its usual place across the horizon, and she once again finds a place to sit and wait for some sort of guide in the dark. It has always come, in one form or another, but for a time--this time--it is dark, so she waits.

While waiting she reads; here it says "Quite often we fail to recieve the blessings He has ready for us because we are not moving forward with him....we loose numerous blessings by overwaiting."

But then, She reads "Stay there until I tell you. (Matthew 2:13) Patience and trust, even in the midst of the monotony of your daily routine, will be the best preparation to courageously handle the stress and strain of a greater opportunity, which God may someday send."

She lays down her book, picks up the Bible and searches...finding both advice given depending on the page and passage...

She looks before her, grab hold of what light is currently given and go forward, or sit and wait for a greater light, that may or may not come? Is she overwaiting God? Or should she settle back and stay waiting?

Stay or go...she feels pulled to both, both feel right...

God grant me sight!

Life Within Her Blooms [03.02.08]

She turns her face toward the sun, feeling the warmth seeping through her skin. The sound of promise of warmer days fills the air. A robin finds a small patch of exposed grass and searches around for a meal. Not only is there promise of spring in nature around her, but in her life she can sense the coming spring.

No, it isn't just coming. Life within her is blooming. God is leading her down a path full of the richness of His blessings.

A Glimpse at Maybe [02.19.08]

She gazes over the endless water, searching for that far horizon--for the shore of promise. There upon the water's surface, something unfamiliar is reflected. Maybe it is a glimpse of tomorrow. Maybe it is the distant shore.

Her heart rate accelerates at the possibility of her finding an answer to her days and nights of seeking. She blinks. Once—still there. Twice—still there. Three times...

Three times and it is gone, vanished before her eyes. Is something blocking that which was being reflected? Was there ever anything really there? She finds no clarity on these questions, but she refuses to let it make her doubt her Guide—her loving Lord.

Gray Skies Over Them [02.12.08]

Right when the skies seem so clear before her, she sees the clouds bending down toward earth with angry urgency. They have come to surround so many, leading them down paths of pain and confusion. Isolating many in lonliness. To her right and to her left she sees it. It is before her and behind her. Each glimpse steals a breath away from her until she is left feeling winded, exhausted, and empathy overwhelms. There are just too many. As she runs down one path, she must choose to pass another. She cannot make it to all of their sides...she cannot offer comfort to each.

In her own life, the ground feels steady. She feels God's love swelling up within her. She isn't afraid. Curiousity has replaced worry. Dreams have replaced fear. Yet, she isn't sure which dreams to dream, for she dreams a hundred half dreams. There is the moon and lamps to guide her path. She knows she is not alone--And her hope seems daily more mature.

Yet, she cannot stand to look at the gray skies over them and do nothing. So she comforts those in reach, and those she cannot, she prays for.

The Lights of Night [02.02.08]

Closing her eyes she feels the glow dance across her skin. The moon is shining and around her sits several lamps. They glow, reflecting the light from the source of all light. Peace overtakes in this moment, and she allows herself to relax for a moment.

Words of thanksgiving slip from her lips, floating up from an abundantly thankful heart. It may be night, but she isn't completely in the dark.

Worry Not While in Want [01.31.08]

Even though all that surrounds her is changing into that of promise, she feels hunger within her. When will this hunger get fed? With what food? From where?

She struggles to continue to walk forward without question, without doubt--but she's hungry and in want.

For a time she walks on with confidence, then a pang of hunger strikes, and she falls prey to worry. Worry is the wolf that haunts the moonless nights along the path she takes.

In the light of the moon, she sees the wolf. She sees her doubt, her fear, the worry she has let go untamed.

As the night breeze once again kisses her cheeks she closes her eyes and turns her face toward the moon--"Lord," she prays "help me worry not while in want."

No Wind Blew [01.15.08]

Sitting overlooking the lake before her, she senses something wrong...something wrong that is more than right. She cannot figure out what it is when the realization first hits her. The sky is so clear. Life is happening all around her in a fury of activity--nothing is still, but everything is calm.

Here she is, in the midst of what was once a storm, but now just a burst of forward motion, and no wind blew.

Could this really be ok? Or is something wrong? This peace is beyond her, above her, past anything of her comprehension. She cannot understand it, yet it IS all the same.

This time, she finds out, is when God can best speak to us. When our soul is calm and settled and unfretted. So she listens as no wind blows.

Calm [01.14.08]

Her pace not hurried, her breath not labored, though her climb upward. She pauses a moment on a rocky outcropping overlooking the beauty that surrounds. The moon is shining again, not much light, but enough to guide her now. The glow offers hints of the beauty that lies beyond. A gentle breeze blows across her face; her hair caught up a moment upon the wind, dances.

Though she sees no one, she knows she is not here alone, and she is not afraid. This moment proves that you can both be excited and calm.

In the end, things will work out. She can trust the Lord. Today, His gifts many, but that which she feels presently is calm.

She Sings in Gratitude [01.13.08]

Walking along the waters edge she watches the moonlight dance across the velvet surface. She is yet in search of a dream that flies just beyond her now, but even in her want, she sees just how blessed she is.

It may not come today or tomorrow, but she sings in gratitude. She is loved and she is not alone, the Lord walks with her, carrying her when she's weak.

She can see that now, even though it's always been something she's known.

The night's silence is broken softly, the words fall out in a chorus of joyful noise.

I thank you Father,
I thank you Lord,
For all you've given,
and all you've done.

Even in want and in need,
when the world's got me on my knees,
I thank you Father,
I thank you Lord,
For all the blessings
with which you've showered me.

When confusion clouds my view,
When I struggle just to know what to do,
I thank you Father,
I thank you Lord,
Because I can always turn to you.

In gratitude and Faith I pray,
Bless me with your spirit,
Guide me with your Love,
Let me be a blessing,
Until your work is done.

And I thank you Father,
I thank you Lord,
I offer you this
My Gift of gratitude...

Sometimes Peace comes in Pieces

I lay back on my bed staring up at my ceiling, quietly thanking God for all He has blessed me with. There are people, friends and family who make life full. There are experiences…and then…then there is peace.

I have found myself conflicted within for awhile now…if it isn’t this, it’s that…and today, though my body feels weak and exhausted, and I fear I am getting sick…today I was given one more piece of peace.

God keeps speaking to me, through people and events. He keeps telling me that He’s watching out for me, that He really does love me. When I beg to move faster He asks rather than tells me, why I feel the necessity to rush things for today, when He is busy paving the way for me to find joy and happiness forever.

I am now ready to say I’m willing to wait. Before, I waited because I had no choice, but now I can honestly say to the Lord, I am ready should this be my time, but I am also willing to wait.

He knows best…and sometimes, when conflicted, instead of calming the storm all together at once, peace comes in pieces. And that’s alright.

Refreshing Breeze and Fairytale Dreams

A smile creeps across her face, at first she tries to hide it, but decides that is a silly waste of time. Why try to hide joy? She is bubbling over with glee that makes her act childlike—but that’s alright, her heart is full of hope and she’s dreaming again—dreaming grand dreams.

Her mind paints a fairytale that she jumps into. The air smells sweet and spicy, filled with the scent of a million flowers. The sky more blue than she’s ever seen, and the grass…the grass is so green and lush that she cannot help but fall back into it and lay staring into the sky. And she dreams...fairytale dreams...and is kissed by a refreshing breeze...

The Surrender [01.10.08]

The Surrender:

Holding on to a wisp of wind, she fought to keep her balance on this uneven land. Of course she knew where she was going…right? No, she couldn’t even convince herself of it. The truth is that she cannot even see five feet in front of her. A dense fog settled over the already darkened horizon.

Yet here she is, fighting; She’s fighting the air, the breeze, and all that is unseen. She’s fighting her own confusion, and struggling to be free of the weakness of her own will.

She dreams and lets them go, for the path from here to where she must go is obscured in darkness.

In all that is so hard to see, one thing she knows is well seen is her weakness. She is flawed, and though she fights like a warrior, she is weak.

The water moves in around her, threatening to drown her. Her arms reach up to hands she knows are waiting.

Lord, take me! I surrender my will into your hands, save me Lord!


by: RET

The Path She Takes [Creative Writing 2007]

The hot southern winds whipped her full white skirt back around her. There she stood overlooking what had once been so beautiful--desert lands. The beauty has long since faded, yet she stands here still. It is what it is. A desert--inhospitable, vast, dry, hot, and lonely. She's tired of chasing mirages and ending up nowhere and yet tired all the same...She looks to the horizon for something, yet there is nothing. Some days she even prays for mirages, because at least they are something to rest her eyes upon.

******
A hot desert wind blows around her, sand an abrasive reminder of her location. She stares off in the distances for something, a sign that the desert will not consume her. Faintly on the horizon there is the suggestion of an oasis, a respite on her long journey. Suddenly it is right before her, not a moment for her to think about what it might mean.
No, it isn't a clear answer, there is no sign to welcome her saying she has found her destination, but here she is. It is so refreshing to her sun baked soul, her thirst satisfied. The more she breathes the moist air of this oasis, the more she feels at home. It is good, and she is happy here.
******
She walks through the oasis, eyes open wide and her heart wider, ready for adventure, for joy to re-enter her life. Caught up in the newness that surrounds her she forgets for a moment how close the other side is--if she should but lift her eyes toward the sky she will see the edge on the horizon. She knows it will not take very long to reach the other side, if the path continues to carry her directly forward. She is saddened at the prospect of leaving this land so soon. She has found joy here, laughter, and refreshment, and though the edge is so very close to the horizon, she holds on to hope, because that's all she's ever done-- and who she really is. She knows that only God knows where the path will lead her, and how quickly she will arrive. And even if the desert should surround again, she knows His plans are for her best life, and she will endure the desert again if that is where He should lead her.
******
Beneath her feet she feels the lushness leave the ground, and the sharp edges of rocks begin to cut her feet. The desert or a fertile paradise? That which lays ahead is a mystery that haunts her mind. Even if it is the desert, the sands shall be softer than where she presently treads. She may even consider trading thorns and rocky ledges for sand burns.
The air is stagnant, heavy, crushing. Her lungs heave with effort to provide her air. No wind blows--her oasis has awaken pain. Her path has now taken her to a rocky ledge. Far off in the distance she can see desert to one side, paradise the other, but what is present surrounding is nothing but fog and confusion. Nothing sheds light upon the path. It is night. She stumbles on in spite, awaiting morning--knowing she is never truly alone.
******
Looking to her left she sees the earth give way to a vast openness, the rocks crumble and fall into the ocean. Should she continue walking on this shaky ground? The fall would be huge, but at least if she jumped she'd maintain some control. Closing her eyes she approaches the edge, unsure of what she will do next.
Suddenly she's falling, falling...along side her she sees the rocky cliffs rushing up as she plummets downward. All she can hope is to hit the water and not the rocky crags below. She can only expect that surviving this fall will mean enduring the crashing and thrashing of the tide as it meets the land.
******
She lays there for a time, while time itself fades away. Unsure of what life will bring her, she's afraid to move. The fall had hurt her, but not in the way she had expected...she's so far from the land she had become so familiar with. Now she fears her company, because she must be her own company--but there is something greater, something overarching...an emotion she can not quite describe. After letting her wounds heal she lifts herself up and finds a place to sit and reflect. Closing her eyes she looks passed the losses, and tries to put an image to the feeling within her. She imagines wings unfolding within her heart. They are graceful and strong.

She is graceful and strong, in her own right. The ocean winds blow around her, and the air smells of tomorrow. Tomorrow smells like promise. Promise smells like hope. And hope is what she was always good at.

She stands with the ocean breeze flirting with the hem of her skirt and playing with wisps of her hair. This air doesn't burn her lungs. She can breathe uninhibited.

So she stands ready, waiting on the Lord.

******

The Lord begins to call, softly, like the whispers of a calm ocean within the Harbor, rising. Almost inaudible, and yet you can feel it somewhere deep within. His voice not loud, the message unclear, but she knows without a shadow of a doubt that He is speaking to her.

She feels that the Lord is trying to give her a gift, her heart is readying itself. She's been praying to be ready to accept God's gift, to be good enough—with God's grace—to be the recipient of such blessings as God has to give.

Within her chest her heart burns with restlessness, she sense it is God calling her to move. God wants her to start walking. She has walked out of the oasis that once protected her from the elements of the desert. Again dry sand surrounds her, but she is not thirsty—for there is a spring within her.
She feels like tomorrow's promise is so close it may come today. Yes, she feel's God trying to give her path direction. She studies the Bible and prays, hoping to be ready when He calls.

She prays for strength to answer the call.

by: RET